36 Social Media Experts & Parents Share Tips On How To Keep Your Tween Safe On Social Media
Honored to be included in this great article at Fashion Playtes on how to keep your tween safe on social media!
xo Jen
36 Social Media Experts & Parents Share Tips On How To Keep Your Tween Safe On Social Media
Honored to be included in this great article at Fashion Playtes on how to keep your tween safe on social media!
xo Jen
Copyright J. J. Cannon – Images may not be used without permission.
In the spirit of “keep(ing) it real’ (one of the Rules in “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie”), and because I am a dedicated non-stop, always-thinking kind of person, I thought I would share a bit of self-reflection on past mistakes which has everything to do with the way this little book took shape. It struck me, startlingly, that some of the biggest messages I am attempting to convey are the direct result of lessons learned during a specific five year period of time between 1993 – 1998. Some were tough, but I am grateful for a million reasons (which I will not bore you with here), but mostly because I have not forgotten.
In the book I write about how I feel it is important for parents and/or adults with any kind of influence over young people to have open and honest discussions about future colleges, bosses, roommates, etc., who are more likely to Google a name first and ask questions later. I talk about “keep(ing) it classy” with references to Audrey Hepburn and My Fair Lady, and ask readers to sharpen their listening skills. The lessons I am referring to revolve around these three things. Let me again take a moment to thank the techno-gods that social media was not alive when I was twenty-five.
In 1998 I was the Executive Assistant to the brilliant (now billionaire), Jack Dangermond, Founder and President of a private software developing and manufacturing company, ESRI (Environmental Systems Research Institute) headquartered in Redlands, CA. It was one of the best, most challenging jobs I’ve ever had (note: super brilliant guys sometimes throw pencils and yell a lot). It is the gold star on my resume. It was where I honed my connecting and communication skills with people from all over the world, helping them and my co-workers extract the answers they wanted from a man who was often difficult to get answers from- a man who had his own, unique style of communication which involved a lot of pencil scrawled messages and boxes for checking ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the various questions.
1998. It was a big year. The Bill and Monica scandal was in full cringe-worthy swing, I bought my first house, was slightly distraught about turning thirty…and then I got fired. Note: The firing part was the most shocking, embarrassing, humiliating, heart-wrenching experience of my entire work-life- like a blindside on Survivor. It was also a lot of my own fault (to be clear, I said ‘a lot’ not totally). This is on my look-back list of worst-best-things-that-could-have-ever-happened-to-me kind of thing you hear people talk about, like after they’ve gone to jail. I feel very fortunate to have never gone to jail.
I promise to get to the point – I like to paint a picture, you know? Hemingway, I will never be.
I was hired at ESRI in 1993 as a temp and was fortunate to work along side a woman named Karen who became a dear friend, surrogate mom and mentor to me. Lord knows what I might have been talking about the day she asked, “Jennifer, have you ever seen the movie My Fair Lady?”, and I replied, “No, I haven’t.”, but I am sure it was not appropriate “corporate office” talk. When my three month evaluation ended and my status officially changed to permanent, Karen took us out for a celebratory dinner and presented me with a VHS tape of My Fair Lady. I watched it twice and from then on “My Fair Lady” was code in our office for zip it. Clearly, this made an impression on me.
Another profound memory I have of those days is attending a communications workshop that had been organized for the company. I wound up sitting nervously next to Jack during a “listening for” exercise which required us to look each other in the eyes and compliment one another- the recipient not allowed to say anything, just listen- for one full minute each. It was a really long two minutes. I had heard the tale of the “beady blues”, Jack’s eyes which, once locked on yours were like a powerful Jedi mind trick truth serum able to extract information that you don’t mean to give, but which just pours out of you. Jack knows how to listen… but he’s thinking light years ahead. The lessons from that workshop have stayed with me.
Today, it is more important than ever for me to be truly present when I am with family and friends – not half-listening while looking at my phone. I believe the ‘do unto others’ philosophy also applies to listening – we could all make a better effort to ‘listen unto others’.
So, in addition to the obvious, I hope the underlying messages of “@Sophie” will encourage people to embrace and enjoy today’s technology, while incorporating a few good, old-fashioned values.
Looking forward to announcing the availability of the print version of the book this week!
Thanks for stopping by,
xo Jen
Forget all of that nonsense you hear about any site requiring users to be at least 13 years of age. We all know – and if you don’t, I’m telling you now – lots and lots and LOTS of very young kids are socially active with or without a parent’s permission.
Here’s an interesting question:
Is your kid on Instagram? How many user profiles to they have? One, two, six? Yes, there are many kids under the “socially legal” age of thirteen out there with multiple public profiles.
I believe the key to establishing trust (which should be earned) with your kids and their use of social media is to educate yourself as much as possible. Let them know that it is imperative that you are connected to them on any site they use until you feel they are ready to spread their social butterfly wings alone.
Please do sit down and read @Sophie Takes a #Selfie and talk with your kids about how to handle their online presence appropriately.
Thanks for stopping by!
xo Jen
This book is AWESOME in its breadth and depth of topics on social media and young people today and it’s tween friendly language.
As a classroom teacher, there are many useful conversation starters/journal topic ideas ingrained within the book. I will be using Sophie Takes a Selfie in my own classroom during family meetings to help my students navigate the world of social media with success.
This topical, relevant, easy to read book is the perfect solution for any parent, teacher, or counselor that wishes to open a conversation about social media with a young person in order to help them navigate it safely and with confidence.
Highly recommended!
Hoping that parents and educators of young people everywhere will use @Sophie Takes a #Selfie to start conversations in their homes and classrooms!
Thank you Mrs. Gerling ~ I trust that you and your students will have plenty to discuss!
xo Jen
Copyright J. J. Cannon – Images may not be used without Author’s permission
Proudly introducing this, my first published book! Reviews are coming in, and they are sweet to say the least!
“J. J. Cannon has written a cute and clever book that’s chock full of social media etiquette tips. @Sophie Takes a #Selfie brings timeless parenting advice into crisp focus for the digital generation!”
BARBARA CORCORAN — ABC’s SharkTank
“I need to download @Sophie Takes a #Selfie for my little grand children right now! Wow!
I always felt I was ‘too special’ to be part of the pack. Keep special darlings! Happy Days from ‘Mrs. C.’”MARION ROSS — ABC’s Happy Days
“After reading @Sophie Takes a #Selfie, my mom and I understand social media much better. The #SweetSixteen have taught me how important it is to think before posting, and I know they will help other families take good care before they share!”
BROOKE SANDERS , 12 — SassaB LLC
“As a parent, trying to navigate social media has been confusing to say the least. Thanks to @Sophie takes a #Selfie, I am able to guide my tween daughter in the right direction so we can both feel comfortable when she’s online.”
I want to express special thanks to my illustrator, Bridget Doe, for bringing my vision of “Sophie” to life. We can’t wait to see where she will go!
Thank you in advance for considering leaving a brief review at Amazon.
xo Jen
I want to believe that Teresa Giudice was horrified by her daughter’s tweet using a gay slur…which, although it has been erased, will live on as a screenshot in Gia’s social media history. This is an example of something that every kid active on social media must be made aware of. Anything you post online has the potential to become a national news item. I use the term ‘news’ loosely here.
Does it make you uncomfortable to see such hateful words on a screen? Have you ever thought about the difference between your child hearing hurtful or humiliating remarks vs. seeing them in print… along with everyone your child is friends with on Instagram or other favorite social platform?
What has been seen can never be unseen.
I am not saying that we must all protect our precious babes from ever hearing an unkind word. It’s a cruel world and hurt feelings are an inevitable part of life and growing up. I just don’t believe in subjecting yourself to this kind of thing unnecessarily.
I see young people posting ugly, unkind, and often downright scary things on social media daily. Kids are killing themselves in record numbers over words they can’t escape on a screen they can’t put down. Instagram and Twitter seem to be popular digital playgrounds for social kids at the moment – Little girls making threats like “I should come over there and slit your throat.” A young girl recently threatening (with accompanying pictures) to kill her dog if band members of One Direction didn’t follow her on Twitter was disturbing to say the least.
The reality is that most young people using social media today – I’m especially referring to 8-12 year olds – simply are not emotionally mature enough to understand the real consequences of the comments they make in the safe and comfortable surroundings of not-saying-it-to-someone’s-face.
Is anyone paying attention?
It is our responsibility as parents to know what our children (under the age of 18) are doing online, which is why I’ve written “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie”.
Our kids are walking around with the equivalent of the whole world in their pockets. Think about it!
Thanks for stopping by,
xo Jen
As I prepare to birth my first book baby, “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie” Rules and Etiquette For Taking Good Care Before You Share, learning recently that there will be a new comedy based on social media blunders is the icing on my Suburgatorial cake! Note: For the record, no spray tan, nose job or Red Bull guzzling kids at my house…that I clean myself…like an Actual Housewife of New Jersey.
Entertainment Weekly reports: “Selfie from writer Emily Kapnek (Suburgatory). Logline: “Comedy inspired by My Fair Lady tells the story of a self-obsessed 20-something woman who is more concerned with ‘likes’ than being liked. After suffering a very public and humiliating breakup, she becomes the subject of a viral video and suddenly has more social media ‘followers’ than she ever imagined — but for all the wrong reasons. She enlists the help of a marketing expert at her company to help repair her tarnished image.”
Emily! I can’t help but picture your character stumbling upon my book– if only she’d had it years before… except, err, then there wouldn’t be a funny show, but you get the idea. I would be happy (and honored) to send you a copy if you like. Hope this show is a HUGE success and you can be sure I’ll be tweeting all about it.
To my tens of readers: Thank you for stopping by – I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak illustration!
xo Jen
Author, J. J. Cannon, Freelance Writer and Social Media Pro, is fascinated and inspired, not only by the dichotomy of the not quite emotionally mature 8-10 year old socially active set, but girls of all ages who are interested in definitive guidelines for what constitutes appropriate online behavior.
“Sophie” symbolizes every young girl, tween and teen (maybe even Mom or Grandma) in possession of a smart device, which the Author likens to a stick of dynamite if used without proper guidance. The whole wide world opens up to Sophie who can now be in constant communication with friends and share anything in an instant on her favorite social media site…but should she? Sophie loves KiK-ing it and snapping selfies on Instagram but realizes that things can get complicated in a hurry! Why are people leaving mean comments? How come she wasn’t invited to the party she’s seeing pics of in her feed? Why are kids bullying each other with hateful and humiliating words? Sophie is not perfect. She is going to make mistakes but, together, we can try to guide her in a healthy direction.
“@Sophie Takes a #Selfie” launches in February and will be available for every popular eReader, Apple iBooks, Barnes and Noble, Kobo and several other sites, including Amazon, both digitally and for POD (Print On Demand).
Stay tuned!
As always, thank you for stopping by,
xo Jen
@beyonce/Instagram
Oxford Dictionaries Names ‘Selfie’ 2013 Word of the Year!
How very appropriate! Loud applause from the “@Sophie Takes A #Selfie” team!
Where to begin. I should start by saying that after scouring the internet for a sober photograph of this well-spoken, intelligent, beautiful young lady – or one without those little tweety-bird fingers pointed skyward – I settled on this one. It is not my intention to humiliate her further. Instead I would like to encourage all of you to watch her eye-opening interview with Emmy Award-winning Juju Chang on ABC’s 20/20 last night.
A brief overview would be: 22 year old Sam gets drunk, a lot, and tweets about it from her public Twitter account. On an August 2013 afternoon, Sam is arrested for public intoxication at a University of Iowa football game and for trying to enter the field at Kinnick Stadium. After being taken into custody, Sam realizes she still has her phone and tweets:
“Just went to jail #yolo — Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
Blew a .341 in jail — Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
I’m going to get .341 tattooed on me because its so epic — Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013” via New York Post.
According to Tyler Kingkade’s recent Huff Post College article, the University of Iowa Senior, majoring in Political Science, has made the Dean’s List on many occasions. I have chosen to highlight this article because it is thoughtfully written.
During Samantha’s interview with 20/20, she said several things that caught my attention and had me doing some tweeting of my own @JenCannPro. She said “it never crossed her mind” that her tweets could go viral. When Juju Chang said she knew following her now infamous arrest and tweets bragging about her BAC (blood alcohol level), that Sam had been approached to do promotions, liquor ads, t-shirt ads, etc., I thought, great, are we really going to make this girl into a celebrity for being young and drunk? No! Samantha’s response was music to my ears:
“Yeah, I immediately didn’t want to do any of that… because if I did that, then it would be promoting who I was portrayed as and that’s not who I am.” She went on to say, “I was really depressed. I just wanted to hide.”
Unfortunately, and as Juju pointed out, “…there’s no place to hide on the internet.” I could tell you the rest of the story, but I would rather have you go and watch the short video and see for yourself!
I will not judge Samantha, because I was once 22 and, like many young people, found myself in some precarious and potentially very embarrassing situations involving alcohol. Thank you Technical Gods for not inventing smart phones and social media back then! And while I’m at it, thank you to the Guardian Angels who were watching over me! Oy.
What I would, however, be curious to know is who pays Samantha’s phone bill and whether or not either of her parents were ever curious about her online activities. I have to believe if either of them had seen what their daughter was putting out there for the all the world to see prior to August 31, 2013 at the cyber-intersection of Twitter and Vine, they would have taken some kind of action.
Samantha, if you happen to read this, I’m glad to hear you learned from your experience and thank you for having the courage to own your actions and talk about it. Wishing you all the best!
To my tens of readers: Thank you for stopping by.
xo Jen
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