teens | J. J. Cannon

Tag: teens
- Sextortion on the Rise, How to Keep Kids Safe
  
  Posted at 11:49 am by J. J. Cannon, on April 4, 2022
  Victims and instances of the crime of “sextortion,” when a person over the age of 18 convinces (through manipulation or threats) a person under the age of 18 to send sexually explicit photos or videos online, are alarmingly younger and rapidly increasing.
  
  #StopSextortion Poster via FBI
  
  In my talks with elementary school kids, I stress the importance of not being connected with, chatting, messaging, Snapping, or making plans to meet up with, anyone they don’t know ‘IRL’ (In Real Life). I ask them questions to get them thinking… How can you be positively certain that a person truly is who they say they are online if you don’t know personally know them? Did any of you have to show your school ID to create an account on any social media app? They shake their heads, hands go up. One kid answers, “Well, you can look at their account and see their pictures.” We talk about why this is not a reliable way to verify a person’s identity online. We do also talk about that little blue circle with the check mark.
  
  People can pretend to be anyone they want online
  
  I explain to them how a person can pretend to be anyone they want online and that creepy people, also known as child predators, can make accounts depicting a young person’s world of favorite sports, pets, art, food, books and travels in order to gain trust. So… someone they believe is into all the same cool things they are, might be someone like the person pictured below. Please show this to your kids and notice how this man had several social media accounts where he pretended to be a kid talking to other kids using fake names like, “LISABUTTERFLY2,” “LOVE361569,” and “LISASMITH9687.”
  
  Nicholas Pedagno was arrested last week in Suffolk County.
  
  If parents allow kids to use social media, I think it is more important than ever that they see this and understand that there are real live, actual predators out there looking to collect photos- some will screenshot photos of children for the purpose of selling them on the dark web- or worse, convince a child to send them sexually explicit photos or videos using threats or blackmail techniques. In February 2021 a letter came home from our school district in conjunction with Harrison Township and Mantua Township Police who work with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to identify predators and charge them accordingly. This message is universal and important to share and discuss with your children. No matter where you live, this is happening.
  
  Excerpt from school letter in conjunction with Harrison Township & Mantua Township Police Departments
  
  What parents can do to protect kids:
  - Utilize restrictions on phones, computers and other devices
  - Install Parental Control Software – SafeWise list of top rated for 2022
  - Familiarize yourself with any social app you allow your child to use
  - Keep accounts Private
  - Watch your kids – there is “No Lifeguard on Duty” here – every app is potentially dangerous
  - Communicate
  Helpful resources for parents:
  I can’t stress enough the importance of communication with our digital kids.
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo J.J.
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  Posted in online safety, Parenting | 0 Comments | Tagged Child Predators, common sense media, communication, cyberwise, digital kids, education, fbi, instagram, iroc2, kids, online safety, parenting, public and permanent, safewise, settings and restrictions, sextortion, snapchat, social media, teens, twitter, whatsapp
- Educate | Advocate | Communicate
  
  Posted at 9:56 am by J. J. Cannon, on March 12, 2022
  It’s been a few years since I’ve had the opportunity to talk with kids. As I prepare and refresh “A Very Social Presentation” I feel a renewed sense of urgency to attempt to impact their young minds in a way that makes them think about difficult situations and the choices we make from a different perspective. Social platforms may change, but much of what we use them for- positive and negative- has stayed the same.
  
  I’ll be speaking to nine small groups of 4th, 5th and 6th grade students over three days at one of our local elementary schools. It is important to me to let them know from the start that I will be having an interactive conversation with them. It’s not a lecture and I won’t be talking at them for an hour. The kids I spoke to last are now in high school and I can’t help but wonder how they’re all doing. Many of them were so eager to talk with me and share their experiences, fears and questions. I heard about everything from them being asked to ‘send nudes’, how to deal with mean comments, being threatened over Xbox that someone was coming to their house to beat them up, and so much more. After one assembly, a student came to me to share a concern for a friend who was being relentlessly attacked online.
  
  What she told me warranted a heads up to the school’s Principal and I haven’t forgotten that child’s genuine concern for their friend.
  
  In the end, I believe the most important parenting tool we have with our kids is to keep them talking. To us. If and when you allow them to download that first app, I highly recommend you use and know the ins and outs of it yourself. As parents, it’s important to consider and understand the dichotomy of not wanting our kids to be left behind their peers socially, and knowing that at younger ages (7-13+), they are psychologically immature and emotionally unprepared for what they will encounter within the World Wide Web. It’s a playground with little or no boundaries and parents cannot expect social media giants to care or fix the problems completely. Their main goal is to keep us addicted.
  
  Highly recommend watching The Social Dilemma.
  
  Early education and communication are key.
  
  Communicate. Communicate. Communicate!
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo J.J.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged digital kids, etiquette, instagram, kids, online safety, parenting, privacy, snapchat, social media, teens, tiktok, tweens, twitter
- Parents Panic Over Cosmo After Dark|What You Need to Know
  
  Posted at 10:44 am by J. J. Cannon, on May 23, 2018
  Edited 5/24 (see below)
  
  After three friends brought this to my attention yesterday, my first thought as the mother of three kids (one, a son, raised pre-online porn, and two daughters 12 and 14):
  
  What the actual…?!
  
  Then I took a breath and started researching… and am likely on some kind of list after the things I’ve entered into my search bar… Special shout out to Taralee O’Malley-Hurff, Founder of Inspired Education for sharing an article about this new feature from SnapChat by For Every Mom. Please consider the following so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not you will allow your child to use the app.
  
  First, via For Every Mom:
  
  What is Cosmo After Dark?
  
  ❝Cosmo After Dark is a new channel on SnapChat’s “discover” section that goes live every Friday at 6 p.m. Using it’s own language, here’s how Cosmo describes their new SnapChat feature as “an X-rated weekly edition that goes live every Friday at 6 p.m. and is exclusively dedicated to all things hot and horny.”
  
  YUP. That is not an exaggeration. Protect Young Eyes grabbed these screen shots straight from SnapChat. THIS is what your kids can easily access on Cosmo After Dark; remember there are not and never have been parental controls on SnapChat. There is no way for you to keep this from your kids.❞
  
  Consider these facts:
  - SnapChat is rated 12+ in the app store and there are plenty of kids bypassing the “age restriction” on this and every other app.
  - There is no parental control or blocking option to keep kids from viewing Cosmo After Dark.
  - 1 in 10 kids under 10 have seen porn. In many cases, hardcore, violent pornography is a mere two to three clicks away.
  - The largest group of internet porn consumers are children ages 12-17.
  The concerns are obvious. We do not want our sons and daughters to grow up with distorted, unrealistic views and expectations about sex, body image and future partners.
  
  What parents can do:
  - Delete SnapChat and prevent it from being downloaded from the AppStore by setting restrictions on device(s).
  - Install parental control software such as Bark, or choose from several listed “The Best Parental Control Software of 2018” via PCMag.com.
  - Talk. Talk. TALK! While it can be an uncomfortable, awkward, eye-roll inducing conversation, talking in a healthy fashion with kids (age appropriately) about sex and sexuality is important.
  We all have choices as consumers, so by allowing Cosmopolitan Magazine to create this new X-rated channel, SnapChat has potentially made a huge mistake… or have they?
  
  Update via Cool Mom Tech:
  
  Editor’s Note: We heard from Snap earlier today, and they clarified that this content was age-gated, which means no one under the age of 18 should have access to it. This feature was released to publishers and is a requirement for certain types of content. However, if kids use your phones, then they will have access to this. They also noted that Cosmo did release some content last Friday that violated their terms and it was removed.
  
  Keep in mind the age-gate only works if kids have entered their real DOB.
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo Jen
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged awareness, cosmo after dark, cosmopolitan magazine, digital kids, education, health, kids, parenting, safety, snapchat, social issues, social media, technology, teens
- Rejection, Infamy Motives for Murder at Santa Fe High School
  
  Posted at 9:53 am by J. J. Cannon, on May 22, 2018
  ❝Police haven’t released a motive in the attack, but after Pagourtzis was arrested he told officers that he targeted students he didn’t like and wanted his story told, according to an affidavit filed in Galveston County court.❞ via USA Today
  
  …he targeted students he didn’t like and wanted his story told. Let that sink in for a moment.
  
  The phenomenon of shootings in schools is too complex to assign sole blame. Whether you believe it is the result of lax gun laws, the NRA, the government, bad parenting, spoiled kids, mean kids, mental health, the media, or whatever else- it matters little unless communities are willing to work together to address and deal with these issues.
  
  One way to potentially prevent copycat incidents would be for the media to stop making these kids famous by splashing their mugshots across the internet.
  
  We will never eradicate ignorance, less than stellar parenting or the fact that our kids will definitely encounter troubled/mean kids throughout their school days and in life. Most kids, at some point, will find themselves in situations where they are embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, harassed, pressured, ostracized and more. We must teach them how to cope and, in age appropriate stages, not sugar coat everything. We must teach them that shit, in fact, happens and, while whatever the “shit” is, isn’t right- here’s how you can handle it. Too many kids (and parents) have been conditioned to overreact to even the slightest conflict.
  
  We hear over and over again in these cases ‘he/she was bullied’, in this case it sounds like rejection from a love interest played a large part in his decision to seek revenge. Nevertheless, these terms are worn out and do not tell the whole story, or include the psychology behind the perpetrators of such horrific acts.
  
  Early education, thoughtful, honest conversations, assemblies and workshops in and out of school are key to affecting any kind of change.
  
  What are your thoughts?
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo Jen
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 15 minutes of fame, bullying, communication, conflict, dating, guns, high school, infamy, kids, mass shootings, media, parenting, rejection, santa fe high school, social issues, social media, teens, texas school shooting
- Social Media Dare #dontshowme Becoming Global Movement
  
  Posted at 10:43 am by J. J. Cannon, on October 19, 2016
  Proud and thankful to my daughter Sophie for creating original artwork and imagery for #dontshowme
  
  Updated Monday, November 7, 2016
  
  On the heels of International Day of the Girl and now, Safe Schools Week, there is no time like the present to launch #dontshowme.
  
  Please excuse missing apostrophe in “don’t”, as there is no punctuation in hashtags.
  
  WHAT IS #DONTSHOWME?
  
  First, picture this (no pun intended) – two middle or high school aged kids huddled together before first period over a phone, gasping at the sight of a leaked photo of a half naked classmate. Cue drama. Rumors of the girl who had sent it, to a boy she thought she could trust, had spread virally a few days before in a group text, and now someone had the actual photo (now we’re talking distribution of child pornography). Fast forward to a crowded hallway filled with whispers of the “sexting” and “can you even believe its”. This devolves quickly into snickers of “what a slut”, “she’s a whore”, and worse. Soon, many have happily jumped on the free wheeling shame-wagon with nary a thought as to what the victim of such a personally humiliating betrayal might be going through. Between facing family, friends, law enforcement, school administrators, teachers, and anyone who lives within a ten mile radius, it has to be hellish.
  
  SEXTING FACTS:
  
  Today, girls are more likely to be asked to share an inappropriate photo before their first kiss. This is happening in every school district in every city in this country and, I’m sure, around the world. The shaming that follows is devastating and sometimes deadly for the person whose trust has been shattered.
  
  Anyone who would ask you to share an inappropriate pic is a) not worth your time and b) not to be trusted. I can promise you there is a 110% chance the photo WILL be shared and/or gossiped about. every. time. Don’t do it.
  
  DON’T SHOW ME DARE CAMPAIGN:
  
  Aims to inspire tweens and teens to stand together in the name of respect and potentially save a life.
  
  By taking the #dontshowme dare, you are saying to your friends and classmates:
  
  🔅I respect you and will never ask you to share an inappropriate photo.
  🔅I respect myself and will not share inappropriate photos of me or anyone else.
  🔅I will not participate in humiliating a classmate after an inappropriate photo or other potentially embarrassing information about them has been leaked.
  🔅I will take a moment to think, “Hey, what if this was happening to me?” before commenting or spreading gossip about a classmate- no matter who they are.
  🔅I will stand together with my friends and classmates in the name of self respect and respect for others and say, “Don’t show me.”
  
  Some of the young people who have taken the #dontshowme dare
  
  Since its launch on October 13, 2016, the #dontshowme dare campaign has gained national and international media attention with additional mainstream media outlets expressing interest daily.
  
  WARNING! ACTIONS ARE CONTAGIOUS:
  
  This is one social media dare every parent, grandparent, teacher, coach or anyone who has influence among young people, should be talking about. Round up your friends, students, team, crew, squad, whoever- and take the #dontshowme dare! Share your pics via Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, using the hashtag and don’t forget to tag me @jjcannonauthor so I can see!
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo Jen
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged #socialmedia, awareness, boys, campaign, communication, dontshowme, education, etiquette, family, girls, gossip, instagram, internet, online safety, parenting, parents, respect, rumors, safeschoolsweek, self respect, self worth, sexting, shaming, sharing, social humiliation, students, teachers, teens, tweens, viral
- Meaner Younger: Access + Excess = Trouble
  
  Posted at 9:01 am by J. J. Cannon, on August 4, 2016
  Image via Lost in Holland
  
  Originally published June 10, 2010 on my other, now dusty blog… long before “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie” was a thought in my head. Today this can be applied to every social platform.
  
  Got a call from a good friend over the weekend who was very upset after finding out that one of her daughter’s classmates, a fellow 4th grade girl, had created an “I hate so and so” page on Facebook.
  
  My curiousity piqued, I thought I would search for myself to see what kind of “I Hate ______” pages I could find on Facebook. Facebook returned approximately 321,000 results. Turns out people hate everything from the President to Justin Bieber, Cheaters, Stupid Bitches, Duty, Sluts, Traffic, the Blackberry, some girl on Big Brother in another country, Cigarettes, Goodbyes and even (gasp) Facebook…I’m certain I could have located rainy days and Mondays if I tried!
  
  The Facebook Statement of Rights clearly states:
  
  #7 under Safety reads in part: You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening…
  
  #5 under Registration and Account Security: You will not use Facebook if you are under 13.
  
  Obviously anyone can go onto Facebook and lie about their age, etc…but the bigger question for me is where are the parents? I realize that I will not be saying anything here that most of us don’t already know – but I must point out that it makes me sad when I hear this kind of thing because there seems to be so much more power behind the meanness of girls today, due in large part to the advancements in technology.
  
  It seems the “what you don’t know can’t hurt you” moniker has been basically obliterated with so much instant access to information. Oh, did I forget to mention that the girl they hate is also a member of the group so that she can go on and defend herself? What in the Sam Hill is going on people??
  
  I am no psychologist, however, I do not believe that nine or ten year old children possess the intelligence or forethought to understand the damage they are doing, not only to others, but ultimately to themselves. How can they possibly understand the permanence of what they are putting out there…it never goes away. How will they feel about what they’ve done ten or twenty years from now?
  
  Why is Facebook not monitoring these types of pages more closely?
  
  It all comes back around to the same burning question: Where are the parents?
  
  Would love to hear your feedback…
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged access, be kind, digital kids, education, etiquette, excess, facebook, hate, hate speak, kids, mean girls, parenting, social media, social responsibility, sophie takes a selfie, tbt, teens, Throwback Thursday, trolls, tweens
- Instagram and the Illusion of Popularity – Who do Your Kids Know…like, IRL?
  
  Posted at 11:51 am by J. J. Cannon, on July 28, 2016
  I can’t help but notice that many of my daughters’ friends have hundreds and, in some cases, thousands of followers on Instagram.
  
  The artificial, inauthentic popularity contest kids chase on a quest for self-fulfillment in the form of followers and double-taps makes them easy prey for predators who actively collect and share images of children on the Dark Web (click to view article via govtech.com). While this article may seem like an extreme example, it is important to understand that there is also a market for voyeurs in search of legal photos posted by innocent kids. “Instagram: The unfiltered truth about sexual predators hunting for teen selfies”, is an eye-opening read.
  
  I speak regularly to kids about the simple fact that there is no way to prove a person’s true identity here unless a) they are a public figure and/or verified account or b) you know the person in real life. There is no one sitting at the entrance of the World Wide Web checking photo ID’s to verify that hundreds of millions of people are who they portray themselves to be online.
  
  As the mother of a pre-digital-age son, age thirty, and two daughters, ages thirteen and eleven, I have had two distinctly different parenting experiences and the perspective that has brought. I understand how overwhelming it can be to keep up with what our kids are doing online at all times, however, it is our responsibility as parents to give it our best shot. Checking in to see who our kids are following and who follows them on any social platform is about as basic as it gets.
  
  Do you have younger kids who haven’t yet dipped their toes into the digital ocean? My award winning guide, “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie – Rules and Etiquette for Taking Good Care Before You Share” is a great way to start a conversation about what constitutes appropriate online behavior and avoid pitfalls.
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo J.J.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Child Predators, digitalkids, followsforlikes, instagram, parenting, popularity, selfies, social media, tbhforlikes, teens, tweens
- “Sophie” Wins Award!
  
  Posted at 12:44 pm by J. J. Cannon, on May 25, 2016
  Proud to announce that my book, “@Sophie Takes a #Selfie – Rules and Etiquette for Taking Good Care Before You Share”, has been honored as a Finalist in the Children’s Picture Book: Softcover Non Fiction category of the 2016 International Book Awards!
  
  The International Book Awards honors excellence in independent and mainstream publishing. I am humbled and beyond thrilled to have won an award in the company of authors like Daymond John and Pope Francis, both winners in multiple categories.
  
  BOOKVANA.COM ANNOUNCES
  WINNERS AND FINALISTS OF
  THE 2016 INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARDS
  
  Mainstream & Independent Titles Score Top Honors in
  the 7th Annual International Book Awards
  
  Penguin Random House, Palgrave Macmillan, Puffin Books, John Wiley & Sons,
  Crown Business, McGraw-Hill, Tor/Forge, Rowman & Littlefield, American Cancer Society and hundreds of national and international Independent Houses
  contribute to this year’s Outstanding Competition!
  
  LOS ANGELES – Bookvana.com announced the winners and finalists of THE 2016 INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARDS (IBA) on May 24, 2016. Over 300 winners and finalists were announced in over 80 categories. Awards were presented for titles published in 2014, 2015 and 2016.
  
  Jeffrey Keen, President and CEO of i310 Media Group, said this year’s contest yielded over 1,500 entries from authors and publishers around the world, which were then narrowed down to the final results.
  
  2016 INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARD HIGHLIGHTS:
  POPE FRANCIS wins several categories for his Loyola Press title “Dear Pope Francis: The Pope Answers Letters from Children Around the World”
  Shark Tank’s DAYMOND JOHN wins for his title “The Power of Broke: How Empty Pockets, a Tight Budget, and a Hunger for Success Can Become Your Greatest Competitive Advantage”
  World-renowned Photographer PETER LIK wins three International Book Awards for his masterwork “Equation of Time”
  Yoga Master, TAO PORCHON-LYNCH wins three International Book Awards for her title “Dancing Light: The Spiritual Side of Being Through the Eyes of a Modern Yoga Master
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo Jen
  
  p.s. Come visit me on Facebook
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Amazon, award winning book, Barnes and Noble, Bookvana, education, i310 Media Group, International Book Awards, Jeffrey Keen, parenting, social media, social media guide, teen social issues, teens, tweens
- From NY Nurse to National Headline in Two Texts
  
  Posted at 10:45 am by J. J. Cannon, on March 30, 2016
  One minute you’re a nurse, the next you’re a national headline.
  
  This is another example of why I am personally fascinated with human behavior, especially in the digital age. Why would someone who had to have worked very hard to attain a nursing license choose to risk it all by doing something so dumb, humiliating, thoughtless, immature, gross, etc.?
  
  One would think that by the age of twenty-six (her age at the time of this incident) a person with any shred of intelligence would comprehend that taking pictures of an unconscious person’s anything is unacceptable behavior.
  
  Stories like this reinforce to me that it is more important than ever to educate children early about what constitutes appropriate cell phone and online behavior. The taking, sharing, and/or possession of inappropriate photos is discussed in my “A Very Social Presentation” assemblies to elementary and middle school age students.
  
  What we know:
  
  Ms. Johnson decided (for whatever reason) it would be a good idea to photograph an unconscious patient’s private parts and share the pics via text message with others.
  
  She is now being punished by our legal system. Her nursing license has been revoked and she will be on probation for three years.
  
  In addition, her name Googled returns 700,000+ results, the headline visible seven pages deep along with her home address and photograph which will be effectively impossible to remove.
  
  I talk to kids a lot about their own anonymity and what it means to them. I tell them that I predict that one day our anonymity will become a valuable commodity and that some brainiac, perhaps one of them, will invent software or an app that allows us to potentially remove any embarrassing mistakes or online over-exposure (no pun intended).
  
  What this young woman chose to do is completely and totally unacceptable. She made a bad choice and a terrible mistake. Is it fair that it will now potentially follow her into infinity on the World Wide Web? Fair doesn’t matter on this playground. It is what it is.
  
  Please don’t be afraid to talk with your kids about pictures and their phones. They need to understand that even possessing a partially clothed or nude photo of themselves – even if they never share it with anyone – is a crime. If someone sends them an inappropriate photo, unsolicited, they need to know they come to you for help with how to deal with it.
  
  Thanks for stopping by.
  
  xo Jen
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged anonymity, boundaries, communication, decency, education, human behavior, kids, morality, NY Nurse, privacy, sexting, social media, teens, tweens
- Happy Birthday “Sophie”!
  
  Posted at 11:47 am by J. J. Cannon, on February 18, 2016
  Happy Birthday “Sophie”!
  
  Two years ago today my social media guide for *girls ages seven to seventy-seven was published.
  
  *not just for girls
  
  She had a great start on Amazon Hot New Releases.
  
  Soon after (and much to my surprise), “Sophie” received international attention when I was approached by Molouk Y. Ba-Isa, Gulf Editor of the Saudi Gazette and one of the first female journalists ever to work in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
  
  I couldn’t quite believe I was hearing from someone so far away… who was interested in this book. Molouk explained to me that everyone “from grannies to babies” has a Facebook page there and no one is monitoring the kids. She had been arguing with professors at the King Fahd University about how kids do in fact need guidance in this area… and then, somehow, she stumbled upon my book! She explained that if it was okay with me she would send me interview questions and put together a nice article. It turned out to be a full page, 1500 word piece in one of the most widely read newspapers in Saudi Arabia. Not bad and very unique for one of my first pieces of written press!
  
  Since then, “Sophie” has made it into the hands of kids, teachers and parents around the world, including some well known moms like Barbara Corcoran, Marion Ross, EMME, Madonna, Heather Dubrow, Bethenny Frankel, Mayim Bialik and Sheinelle Jones. Can’t wait to see where she ends up next!
  
  The past two years have taken me on a wonderful journey. This “little” book has opened up compelling and fascinating conversations, and given me the opportunity to lend my voice to a subject which I’m passionate about. I have guested regularly on local television (FOX29 Good Day Philadelphia & CBS3 Philly) as an expert and am currently scheduling “A Very Social Presentation” assemblies with schools around the country. Looking forward to whatever comes next and am very thankful to have had incredible support and encouragement from so many of you.
  
  It’s February and my heart is full.
  
  Thanks for stopping by,
  
  xo Jen “J.J.”
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  Posted in social media, teens, tweens, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Amazon, Barbara Corcoran, best seller, bethenny frankel, books, CBSPhilly, digital age, Emme, facebook, fox29 good day philadelphia, Happy Birthday Sophie, heather dubrow, kids, madonna, marion ross, mayim bialik, online safety, parenting, Saudi Gazette, selfies, Sheinelle Jones, social media, sophie, sophie takes a selfie, tech talk, teens, tweens
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